ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR?

An inveterate liar is a liar who is the victim of firmly fixed and deep-rooted habits. With him, telling untruths is as frequent and customary an activity as brushing his teeth in the morning, or lighting up a cigarette after dinner.
A chronic liar is a liar who never stops lying. While normal people lie on occasion, and often for special reasons, this scoundrel lies continuously- not occasionally or even frequently, but always.
A psychopathic liar is a liar who does not know the difference between truth and falsehood. Like a child of three, he cannot distinguish fact from fancy. In this one respect at least, he is not entirely sane.
An unconscionable liar is a liar who is completely without a conscience. No matter what misery his fabrications may cause his innocent victims, he never feels the slightest twinge of guilt. Totally unscrupulous, he is a dangerous person to get mixed with.
An incorrigible liar is a liar who is impervious to correction. Often as he may be caught in his fabrications, there is no reforming him- he goes right on lying despite the punishment, embarrassment, or unhappiness, which his distortions of truth may visit upon him.

LOOKING HIGH

Q: What did the lonely banana say?

A: I'm a"kela".

Q: What did the green peas say?
A: Nothing. They just "mutter"ed.

Q: What did the potato say when it answered the phone ?
A: "Aaloo?"

Q: Where do cauliflowers hang out?
A: In the Gobi desert.

Q: What did the flower say to its girl-friend?
A: Why do phools fall in love?

Q: What did the confused egg say?
A: I don't unda-stand.

Q: Where do earrings go on holiday?
A: Bali

Q: What do shrimps sing on Christmas?
A: Jhinga Bells.

Q: What did the half eaten naan say?
A: I wish I was puri.

Q: What did the lonely potato sing?
A: "Aaloo lonesome tonight?"

Q: What language do carrots speak?
A: Gajar-ati.

Q: What do you call a bald poet?
A: Ik-bal.

Q: What did the first pizza slice say to the other pizza slice so it
would move?
A: Pizza - "HUT"

Dimension Doors

There is a view that we live in a 3 dimensional infinite volume universe that is one of an infinite number of infinite volume universes that live in an infinite volume 4 dimensional hyperspace. 

If these 3D universes are all in [random] motion, relative to one another, and in motion relative to the 4D hypervolume, we can have the situation where these 3D universes may interpenetrate or overlap on certain occasions for certain durations. Several 3D universes can occupy the same hypervolume without being unduly effected. But, topological forces can also arise due to this "hypermotion", which can have real and physical effects in observations of our world.

Life Is Not a Business

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.
"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"Well, then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs...I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy! a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.

Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards? That's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?"

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take siestas with your wife, and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."