IMNOBODYNIDONOTHING

Causes of death of philosophers

Abelard: Nun
Aristotle: Excessive moderation
Berkeley: Divine neglect
Camus: Found exit
Confucius: Lost his way
Copernicus: Revolution
Darwin: Became unfit
Descartes: Stopped thinking
Diogenes: Exposure
Durkheim: Suicide
Einstein: Diced with God
Freud: Slipped
Heidegger: Not being in time
Heisenberg: Uncertain causes
Jaspers: Essence exhausted
Laplace: Prior arrangement
Leibniz: Monadnucleosis
Levi-Strauss: Eaten by natives
Nietzsche: Overpowered himself
Ockham: Shaved beyond necessity
Pirsig: Motorbike crashed
Rand, Ayn: Objectified ego
Sartre: Nothing doing
Schopenhauer: Willing to die
Spinoza: Substance abuse
Zeno: Run over by tortoise